<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Petty Luthor by src554</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24333640">Petty Luthor</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/src554/pseuds/src554'>src554</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Cuddles, Drunk Lena Luthor, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Humor, Kara is done, Kelly is traumatised, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena goes weeeeeeeeee, Made at 3am, Petty Lena Luthor, Petty Lena strikes again, and we cant write, enjoy, honestly not sure if i love this or hate this, we tried to be funny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:33:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24333640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/src554/pseuds/src554</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lena Luthor is a petty bitch. And she knows Kara's secret.</p>
<p>Inspired by 3AM conversations.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>824</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Balcony Saga</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yo we cant write AND this was made at 3am from thoughts about what i would do in lenas position anyway enjoy and stan lena petty bitch luthor</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Lena Luthor is a petty bitch. And she knows Kara’s secret.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She isn’t mad, per se, but she knows she can use this knowledge to screw with her friend a bit. <em> It’ll be fun </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Kara still hadn’t told her her secret, and although Lena had been trying to push it out of her, Kara still wouldn’t admit it. So Lena decided to mess with her. It’s only fair, right?</p><p> </p><p> Kara and Lena are sitting out on Lena’s balcony having their weekly lunch date together. Nothing out of the ordinary, just their normal banter. </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe I’ve been living a lie! I’m a clown!” Kara says, throwing her hands up. </p><p> </p><p>Lena laughs at the dumbass before her. “Don’t feel bad, darling. Old Spice is a men’s deodorant, it's ok that you didn’t know it’s not actually made from spices. Besides, you’re not the only one who’s been in the dark about obvious things.” Now is her chance.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean-” </p><p> </p><p>Lena’s phone begins buzzing. She looks down at her screen then back up at Kara.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I gotta take this, it’ll only be a minute.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, it’s ok, no wor--”</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, Lena steps up onto her chair, which is positioned right by the ledge. No words, face expressionless.</p><p> </p><p>“Lena, what are yo--”</p><p> </p><p>Lena, in perfect fashion that one could only describe as the most insane yet majestic feat mankind has ever seen, swan dives off the balcony.</p><p> </p><p>Kara is stunned, to say the least. She sits frozen in shock until her mind fully processes whatever the fuck she’d just witnessed. But she has no time to think. Whipping off her glasses, Kara leaps into the air to catch her friend.</p><p> </p><p>She finally catches up to Lena, who by this point is almost to the ground. She catches her friend bridal-style and they hover in the air as Kara stares at her in confusion and fear. Lena smirks.</p><p> </p><p>“How was my form?” She says nonchalantly as if she didn’t just jump off a building. </p><p> </p><p>“LENA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK--”</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, Supergirl.” </p><p> </p><p>Kara is silent for a second, in shock again. Her face turns bright red. The awkwardness could be felt a mile away. “How--” She pauses. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”</p><p> </p><p>“You almost forgot to tell me you were Supergirl,” Lena says, raising an eyebrow. </p><p> </p><p>“Lena, I-- I’m so sorry. I should have told yo-” Kara frantically starts. Lena brings a finger up to her mouth to silence her. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, darling, I forgive you.” Lena chuckles at Kara’s disbelief. “Now let’s get back up to the balcony and get you some potstickers,” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh-- Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>It’s now game night, and it’s Lena’s first time hosting. Alex and Kelly are curled up on the couch, Kara and Lena side by side on the floor, and Brainy and Nia are just vibing next to each other. Monopoly’s in full swing. Lena crushing them all, of course. </p><p> </p><p>Lena is peacefully eating her kale salad when she notices Kara glaring. </p><p> </p><p>“What?” Lena asks, confusion written on her face.</p><p> </p><p>“I just can’t believe you’re willing to eat that… that garbage!” Kara shakes her head gagging.  </p><p> </p><p>“Says the girl who ate 253 chicken nuggets last week at my place and threw up all over the carpet!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god, you go, girl!” Nia cheered.</p><p> </p><p>“You know what, Lena?” Kara said. “Fuck your kale!”</p><p> </p><p>Lena is taken aback by this. And frankly, so is everyone else (except for Kelly, who is just confused about what she’d gotten herself into). The tension in the room was off the charts.</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p> </p><p>“You heard me.”</p><p> </p><p>Silence. “... FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS, KARA.”</p><p> </p><p>“You like kale. YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER BUFFOON.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, shit just got real.” Nia says.</p><p> </p><p>Lena slowly puts down her kale salad, stands up, and walks towards the balcony. </p><p> </p><p>“Lena, C’mon. Look, I’m sorry. Please don’t do what I think you’re gonna do. Lena, no,” Kara begs. </p><p> </p><p>Lena continues slowly walking backwards to the balcony, dragging a chair. She stands on top facing the Superfriends. </p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck is happening?” Alex says. Everyone else is dead silent.</p><p> </p><p>Lena gives Kara the middle finger and leans back, slowly falling off the balcony railing.</p><p> </p><p>“KARA WHAT THE FUCK-” Alex screams, while Kara just face palms. </p><p> </p><p>“She does this sometimes,” Kara replies as if that explains everything. Getting up, she whips off her glasses and starts flying after Lena. Once caught, Kara slowly flies them up and puts Lena down on the balcony, shrugging at all of the bewildered faces. They walk back into the deathly silent room and sit down as if nothing happened. </p><p> </p><p>The rest of the night went on as normal. Nobody dared mention what they’d just witnessed-- except for poor Kelly who was just so damn confused.</p><p> </p><p>“Am I just supposed to ignore whatever the fuck just happened?!” Kelly asks, disoriented. </p><p> </p><p>Alex wraps her arm around Kelly’s shoulder. “Welcome to game night. We learn not to question things.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>It’s movie night at Kara's house, and instead of cuddling like normal they do, Kara and Lena are seated on opposite sides of the couch. Kara is fully into the movie, not paying any attention to Lena. Scooting closer to Kara didn’t do anything, so after a few attempts at getting her attention, Lena gets up and slowly makes her way to the window.</p><p> </p><p>Kara looks back at her once she’s reached the open window.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>Lena climbs onto the window sill.</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, no! Lena please stop. Don’t--”</p><p> </p><p>Lena jumps yet again into the air. Kara sighs before chasing after her dumbass friend to save her yet again.</p><p> </p><p>She catches her bridal-style once again. “Again, Lena? Why did you do that?!”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know… I guess I just wanted you to hold me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s silent for a minute, they can’t even hear the city noises around them as they hover in mid-air. They stared into each other's eyes, breaking only momentarily when Lena looked down at Kara’s lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Kara,” Lena whispers, trying not to break the world they are in. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah…” Kara answers, staring at Lena’s lips. </p><p> </p><p>“Kiss me? Plea-”</p><p> </p><p>She’s cut off by Kara’s lips colliding with her own.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Balcony Saga Pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lena continues to go "weeeeeeee" off balconies, much to Kara's dismay.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey yall. We back on that bullshit. What the fuck is this you may ask? Couldn't tell you if we wanted to. We hope this can live up to the first chapter but idk if it will. All of this is bullshit but its fun we think. does it make sense. no. maybe. probably not. its crackhead and we like that. We apologize in advance, unless you like it then youre welcome. Feel free to yell at us in the comments, And remember supercorp endgame.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena Luthor is a petty bitch. And she knows Kara’s secret.</p><p>Initially, she used this knowledge to absolutely fuck with Kara but now they’re together... and, uh... actually... fucking...</p><p>But that won’t stop Lena from being the petty bitch she is. Even if she’s drunk off her ass.</p><p> It started at the alien bar as a simple little bet between friends… who could drink more, Alex or Lena? Now, over 3 hours later, Kara isn’t even sure how either of them are alive considering how much they drank. She’s supposed to be the alien one.</p><p>Despite the protests from Alex and Lena, it's time for them to go home with no winner. Kara recruits Kelly to help get Alex home and then drags her own girlfriend back with her. </p><p>Lena is currently over Kara’s shoulder, one hand firmly on Kara’s left ass cheek and staring at her ass as if it were her last supper. (this, of course, being the only way Lena would leave willing). Then a rare occurrence happens. Lena starts to sing.</p><p>“Your pussy is God and I love it, Gonna kiss me real hard, make me wanna it.” She stops. “Kara?”</p><p>“Yes, baby?”</p><p>“Your pussy is God, and I love it” She sings.</p><p>Kara groans. “Okay, it's time to get you to bed.”</p><p>She gently places her girlfriend on the couch and tucks her in under a blankey. Before she can go get Lena pajamas, Lena lets out a small, toddler-like “No!” and puts her hands out making a grabby gesture at her ass. </p><p>“I’ll be right back, Lena. I’ll just be in the other room.”</p><p>“Why- WHYYY don’t you SIIIng with meeee?”</p><p>“Because we gotta get you to be--”</p><p>She lets out a forceful, yet still somehow small and cute “NO!”</p><p>Before Kara can drag her ass into bed, her phone starts ringing. Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” starts playing as her ringtone. It’s Kelly calling. Deciding she’d rather deal with this than Lena right now, she answers.</p><p>“Hey Kara, I was just calling to see if you guys made it home saf-” Kelly starts.</p><p>“GOD FUCKING DAAAMN IT KARA... I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO CHANGE THAT SHIT... I’M GOD DAMN TIRED OF GETTING, RICK ROLLED IN MY OWN HOME! I- I. I HOPE YOU GO PISS YOURSELF... KARA!” Lena yells. Kara looks at Lena. She’s fucking pissed. She hasn't seen her this mad since Kara said kale was the worst vegetable. </p><p>“..... I’ll let you take care of... that. Good luck, Kara.” Kelly nopes the fuck out and hangs up. </p><p>“I love you too, sweetie,” Kara says as she’s face palming. She then leaves to go get some new clothes for Lena. This proves to be a bad idea when she hears Lena swearing.</p><p>“This motherfuuucking WINDOW won’t open. Fuck you! I hate you! Whore,” She slurs. Kara hears the window finally open. “Suck it, bitch, I’m better than you.” </p><p>Kara turns the corner to see Lena drunkenly stumbling to get out the window alarmingly fast. </p><p>“LENA, NO!”</p><p>Down she fucking goes. Lena is gone. </p><p>“This bitch is fucking insane,” she says as she whips off her glasses. “I love her.”</p><p>Kara catches Lena fifty feet from the ground. </p><p>“Took you long enough,” Lena rolls her eyes. </p><p>“You’re a hazard to society.”</p><p>“Finally, I’m living up to the Luthor name.”</p><p>“Can I please put you to bed?”</p><p>“Only one condition. You sing Pussy is God with me.”</p><p>Kara sighs. “Ok, Lena. I’ll sing Pussy is God with you.”</p><p>“AT- At karaoke night.” Lena says with the most serious face.<br/>
Kara considers dropping her. She doesn’t, obviously, but the thought does cross her mind. Kara loves Lena, but oh my fucking god. She thought the reveal was dramatic, but this is something else. She loves her petty, annoying-ass, beautiful, scrumptious, inspiring, pussy loving bitch. </p><p>Kara reluctantly agrees, hoping Lena forgets this in the morning. Once Lena is happy with the deal, she snuggles in closer to Kara’s chest and lets herself be carried to bed. </p><p>--</p><p>Lena has never felt dumber in her entire fucking life. And she thought she was straight for 16 years. </p><p>Kara and Lena are sitting on the white couch in Lena’s office having their weekly Big Belly Burger date when she realizes. She stops everything, and starts staring off into space.<br/>
Kara is in the middle of complaining about her new co-worker, William, when she sees Lena absolutely gone, staring at the wall.</p><p>“Lena? Baby? Are you okay?” She says as she taps Lenas shoulder. </p><p>Lena sits in silence for a while. She slowly turns to look at Kara, murder in her eyes, the same look she has when people flirt with the love of her life.  </p><p>“... I flew here on a bus.” Lena whispers.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You FLEW HERE. ON A BUS. YOU FLEW HERE ON A FUCKING BUS… I CAN’T BELIEVE I DIDN’T FUCKING REALIZE.” </p><p>Lena’s up in a split second fucking Usain Bolting it to the balcony. Kara has god damn super speed but even she isn’t able to catch up before Lena fucking flings herself off the balcony without a second thought. Kara hates when Lena does this, but damn is she impressed with how fast she can run in stilettos. If it were an olympic sport, she’d win gold, even with her weird ass form. </p><p>So down Kara goes to get her again.</p><p>“Honey, how long are we going to keep this dance up?” She asks once Lena is safe in her arms.</p><p>“Depends on how much you wanna keep pissing me off,” she says smugly.</p><p>“Lena, I think this is a bit of an overreaction. I don’t want you to get hurt. You need to stop throwing tantrums like this.” Kara says sternly. </p><p>“No &lt;3”</p><p>Kara shakes her head and starts floating back up to the balcony. Kara sets Lena down, but keeps her close in case she tries something again. Kara may trust Lena with her life, but she doesn’t trust Lena not to do something stupid like throwing herself off buildings all the time. It’s truly a miracle people haven't called the cops yet. </p><p>“I’m so fucking dumb.” Lena sighs.</p><p>“I’ve said some dumb shit before to keep my secret, but… Rao, I can’t argue there, that one was pretty fucking stupid, Lena”</p><p>“Fuck you” This pisses Lena off, and she tries to fling herself off again but Kara catches her arm.</p><p>“Do that one more time and…” she pauses. “and you’ll never find your kale again”</p><p>The silence was worse than the time Kara suggested Lena might start to lose her hair like Lex did. (Lena didn’t talk to her for the rest of the night.)</p><p>“You wouldn’t”</p><p>“I would.”</p><p>“Not my kale!” Lena whines.</p><p>“Yes, your kale”</p><p>More silence.</p><p>“... Bitch,” Lena whispers.</p><p>“I heard that.”</p><p>“Cool. You want a fucking medal or something? Bitch.”</p><p>“I may be a bitch but I’m your bitch.” Kara says smugly. </p><p>Lena takes a step towards Kara and kisses her. </p><p>“My bitch.” Lena whispers, smiling into the kiss. </p><p>“I love you,” Kara whispers back.</p><p>“I love you more than you know,” Lena says as Kara picks her up, bringing her back to the couch. </p><p>Kara breaks the kiss, “If you love me that much why do you keep jumping out the window?” Kara asks.</p><p>“Shut up and keep kissing me.”</p><p>And of course Kara does. Why wouldn’t she want to kiss the love of her life. It’s her favorite thing in the world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>R.I.P to the L-Corp White couch. 2016-2021. We thank you for your service and you will forever be missed. </p><p>Follow @Danversgirls on insta!</p><p>Thanks for reading! We *might* be back for more.</p><p>Sophie and Emma</p><p>Supercorp Endgame</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you enjoyed this let us know cause we might write more we dont really know but we could make this a series of one shots cause we have some more ideas thank for reading :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>